Late-night Socializing Gifts

'Let's keep it simple -- stop serving me when you run out of beer.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

'He's at a very impressionable age.'

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

Liquidity Lunch

'At least hanging around street corners reminds us we're at a crossroads in our lives.'

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

Urban Life.

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

'You smell as if you're nearly ready.'

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

"Mother, you were right."

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

"I'm not serving you mate - you're off yer face..!"

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'Hope 2010 is living up to your bubbly enthusiasm of last night and early this morning'

'Remember, never let adults know summer vacation can sometimes be boring or they may make it shorter.'

"I met my husband at the Bean Lovers Convention and we've been shooting the breeze ever since!"

'You're clean, sober and unhurt? Poor darling! This Friday night with your buddies must have been REALLY boring!'

"Wait a minute. Isn't tonight the water conservation rally?"

Her tears flowed like wine.

'Let's keep it simple -- stop serving me when you run out of beer.'

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

"Alright mate? Fancy popping out later for a couple of units?"

"Mijo, just do what you always do before you write a paper...it's obviously working!"

'Hello. You've reached the twenty-four hour toll-free hotline.'

"Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing!"

Kicking Out The Jams On A Friday Night With The Sisters Of Doo-Wop

"It's the kind of trade you get at an all-night supermarket, kid."