Late-night Socializer Gifts

Man inviting a friend back from the club.

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

'Bloody Cheek, that Gayle fellow criticising test cricket.'

"Practicing my hate-face."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

David Letterman

Teleworking was the death of the office party

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

"Mother, you were right."

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Overnight Programming

"Oh, no thank you. I’m rumaki-free."

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

The party, after you left

'Hope 2010 is living up to your bubbly enthusiasm of last night and early this morning'

'Let's keep it simple -- stop serving me when you run out of beer.'

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

"Wait a minute. Isn't tonight the water conservation rally?"

'Your drink, madam. Courtesy of the gentlemen at the bar.'

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

'Don't look right now Carla, but there's a REALLY cute guy in the corner giving you the eye.' A man offering his own eye to a woman.

"Our flying monkeys really seem to be hitting it off."

'Hello. You've reached the twenty-four hour toll-free hotline.'

"You're a plumber, I'm a doctor. Now that I've given you some free medical advice, how about stepping into my kitchen and fixing my leaky faucet?"

"It's the kind of trade you get at an all-night supermarket, kid."

"I've learned not to listen to critics who are right about me."

"Club Applebee's - Late Night"

'Just another young couple out burning the midnight rubber.'

"I used to look forward to summer vacation. Thanks to coronavirus, I look forward to going back to school."

'If it wasn't for the 19th hole I would have quit this game a long time ago!'

'Let's keep it simple -- stop serving me when you run out of beer.'

'Everyone wants Perrier with a twist of lime.'

"That one is for going AWOL but coming right back."

'Boy! Those 911 operators sure get snooty when you call them at 4 a.m. and ask them to translate the words to Frere Jacques.'

'Rodney doesn't mingle so much as rotates!'