Late-night Socializer Pillows

Man inviting a friend back from the club.

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"Practicing my hate-face."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Teleworking was the death of the office party

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

"Mother, you were right."

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

Overnight Programming

"Oh, no thank you. I’m rumaki-free."

The party, after you left

'Hope 2010 is living up to your bubbly enthusiasm of last night and early this morning'

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

'Your drink, madam. Courtesy of the gentlemen at the bar.'

"Wait a minute. Isn't tonight the water conservation rally?"

'Let's keep it simple -- stop serving me when you run out of beer.'

'Don't look right now Carla, but there's a REALLY cute guy in the corner giving you the eye.' A man offering his own eye to a woman.

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

'Hello. You've reached the twenty-four hour toll-free hotline.'

"You're a plumber, I'm a doctor. Now that I've given you some free medical advice, how about stepping into my kitchen and fixing my leaky faucet?"

"It's the kind of trade you get at an all-night supermarket, kid."

"I've learned not to listen to critics who are right about me."

"Club Applebee's - Late Night"

'Just another young couple out burning the midnight rubber.'

"I used to look forward to summer vacation. Thanks to coronavirus, I look forward to going back to school."

'Let's keep it simple -- stop serving me when you run out of beer.'

'If it wasn't for the 19th hole I would have quit this game a long time ago!'

'Everyone wants Perrier with a twist of lime.'

"That one is for going AWOL but coming right back."

'Boy! Those 911 operators sure get snooty when you call them at 4 a.m. and ask them to translate the words to Frere Jacques.'

'Rodney doesn't mingle so much as rotates!'

'24 hour drinking... I'll drink to that!'