Relaxation At Pub Pillows

"Looks like my car won't start...I guess I'll have time for that beer after all!"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

Beers

City Boy.

'I know it's gassy...'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Men's fragrances...

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

Professional woman in pub

JOE'S 'COME ON - YOU KNOW YOU REALLY WANT IT' BAR.

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

Drunken singers in a public house

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

"My wife is trying to stop me doing my flamingo impression." "You must put your foot down! "

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

melting snowman in a bar, one for the road

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

"Your shout!"

The Reaper's Arms

'Do not stand while the room is in motion.'