Relationship Therapist Fan Gifts

"You schlepped with her, didn't you?"

Licensed Therapist

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

'I hate Mondays.'

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

WHO checklist

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

Dr. Kapuchnik, I feel like there are powerful, sinister, unseen forces conspiring to do me harm, even though I haven't done anything wrong. Does this condition have a name? It's called April 15th, Al. Tax day.

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

"He thinks he never makes mistakes."

'He's got 99 problems but his Bitch aint one!'

Psychiatry in the Park

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

Mime marriage.

'I hate to say this but no amount of analysis is going to help; you need a better cartoonist.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"I have no feelings about having no feelings."

"We don't talk."

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

"Teach me not to care."

"So has this obsession about your weight ever led to thoughts of suicide?"

'Margaret. I feel that we must talk about our relationship.'

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

"I suggest you read this book....it comes highly recommended by earthlings."

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

'Our love life has become market-driven.'

"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

'My power ties are demanding more closet space.'

Revenge Graffiti.