Therapist Humor Fan Gifts

"So, you went up the water spout and the rain came down and washed you out. How did you feel about that and what did you do?"

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"You're completely screwed up."

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

"How long have I had what problem?"

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

Computer help.

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

"My brother is always trying to one-up me. As soon as I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder he said he had tripolar disorder."

"Teach me not to care."

Woman on psychiatrists couch talking to statue in art museum.

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

"Dr. Livingstone will see you now."

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

Dog in therapy.