Relationship Pun Lover Pillows

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

Reading the sports pages.

Peach flirting with a banana.

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

Zoo. Diet Clinic. Hey everybody --- There's no longer an 800-pound gorilla in the room!

Bee to othe: 'You knew I was a workaholic when we first met.'

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

Aging Problems

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

'What d'you mean, I never take you anywhere-who took you to the Festival of Britain?'

Bowling. 24 Lanes. Going bowling for date night with my girlfriend as a bad idea. A split was inevitable.

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

'Have you beed seeing other females?'

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

'You tell me you're a sexual athlete and your first time at bat you strike out!'

"I've never felt this close to anyone before!"

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

"We never talk anymore."

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

"Hey, I know - why don't we go on a little crime spree?"