Relationship Pun Lover Pillows

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

Peach flirting with a banana.

Reading the sports pages.

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

Bee to othe: 'You knew I was a workaholic when we first met.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

Aging Problems

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

'Have you beed seeing other females?'

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

'What d'you mean, I never take you anywhere-who took you to the Festival of Britain?'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

'You tell me you're a sexual athlete and your first time at bat you strike out!'

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.

"I've never felt this close to anyone before!"

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

"We never talk anymore."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"Hey, I know - why don't we go on a little crime spree?"

'Mr. Rock and Mrs. Hardplace are here, sir.'