Relationship Breakdown Gifts

'Oh, it's not Wally. The problem is ME. The truth is, I've never been comfortable in my own demographic!'

"It's because I'm a potato, isn't it?"

"I broke up with the Captain. We didn't see aye to aye."

The sunsets on Barry and Beryl's relationship:'Very funny Beryl, but you better dig me out now...'

'I don't need to know how your date went.'

"I'm sorry, I've been seeing someone else. It's George, of the jungle."

A Showbiz Love Story

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"I can't believe he brought her."

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

The prying mantis,

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'Great Therapy!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"We don't talk anymore."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."