Relationship Breakdown Mugs

'Oh, it's not Wally. The problem is ME. The truth is, I've never been comfortable in my own demographic!'

"It's because I'm a potato, isn't it?"

"I broke up with the Captain. We didn't see aye to aye."

The sunsets on Barry and Beryl's relationship:'Very funny Beryl, but you better dig me out now...'

'I don't need to know how your date went.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

The prying mantis,

'Great Therapy!'

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"I can't believe he brought her."

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"We don't talk anymore."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation