Regulatory Ruminators Gifts

"To meet the government requirements, I'm passing the extra costs to the consumer and our employees."

'You forgot the product label.'

Speeding Forklift

"In the room the women come and go. Talking of Michelangelo."

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

An epiphany is the sudden realization of essential meaning. An "explanation point"!

'They're doing their tests now?

'I love doing surprise inspections.'

"I really like smart women."

Equality in sexes leads to increase in insurance costs.

U.S. Department of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms

'KEEPING UP in practice simply means knowing which drug the FDA has withdrawn.'

'Could you bring me the new investment regulations you downloaded yesterday?' 'It's still downloading.'

'Have you got something that says, 'I've got a headache?''

Licensing Officer

"Anything to accompany a stale marriage?"

When the feds combine offices: US department of commerce & immigration...importing, exporting, deporting

'We're pleased to announce we're doing a government study to find out just who regulates the electric industry.'

"My psychiatrist advised me to pay taxes quarterly. That way my seething resentment is spread evenly over a year."

"Great news! The Fed possibly confirmed that a possible rate hike is possibly possible!"

In Case of Accidents

"Just like he did when he was alive the lazy sod!"

'Yes, most humans call us pests or vermin, but a few of them love us as pets...'

'Gail, my dear, please don't talk about sex - my God this is a restaurant!'

"I see you're on a date at the moment but perhaps later we could meet for a latte."

"Relax! They'll be gone soon. . ."

'Your 401k doesn't look a day over 20.'

"He doesn't seem to be accepting retirement too well."

'It's a follow up to the Railway Children complaint. They're concerned that watching Bill and Ben encourages the use of pot.'

'Let me just check the code book.'

"So make me an offer."

"There's a moving truck backing up to our loading dock. Maybe they're delivering the government regulatory guidelines."

I'm here about the inspecting