Resentment Ruminators Gifts

"My psychiatrist advised me to pay taxes quarterly. That way my seething resentment is spread evenly over a year."

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

"In the room the women come and go. Talking of Michelangelo."

An epiphany is the sudden realization of essential meaning. An "explanation point"!

"I think...therefore I am. I think."

"I really like smart women."

'The secret to happiness is awaiting F.D.A. approval.'

'Have you got something that says, 'I've got a headache?''

'He didn't buy us as pets, he bought us as pet-food: He has a snake!'

In Case of Accidents

'Gail, my dear, please don't talk about sex - my God this is a restaurant!'

"Just like he did when he was alive the lazy sod!"

"I see you're on a date at the moment but perhaps later we could meet for a latte."

'Your 401k doesn't look a day over 20.'

"He doesn't seem to be accepting retirement too well."

Philosoraptors

'Yes, most humans call us pests or vermin, but a few of them love us as pets...'

"So make me an offer."

'I hate to tell you this...but you're going to have to give up red meat.'

Oops, I spilled coffee on my resume. Uh-oh, that's a stain on your record!

'Give me some sausages, I want to end it all.'

"Construction. Expect delays Jan 1 - Dec 31."

"The salesman was right, a carpet with a darker colour will hide all manner of sins."

"To meet the government requirements, I'm passing the extra costs to the consumer and our employees."

Opera singer screaming at a mouse to get that high pitch.

"How are people at my reunion going to recognize me? I look in the mirror and even I don't recognize me."

The end is not near - so cope!

"I was thinking of giving you a raise, Caldron. But, then I decided I think too much."

FOR RENT: 1-BR. APT. W/GARAGE. ! !

"Shoo! I have no nuts - and resent you for bringing that fact to my attention."