Refrigerator Philosopher Gifts

"My son has a magnetic personality. That's why he's always hanging on the refrigerator door."

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

Pop Culture for Teens

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

'Miss Fogarty, I'm not having any fun.'

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"This is one of her more important paintings from her early period."

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

Business man sees himself as a shark

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

"I noticed a few browns."

Warning. Objects in mirror my bear no relation to reality.

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Just tell me. You don't need to drag that out every time I ask how I look.'

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

"Bear with us, will you? -- We're having technical difficulties over here."

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."