Mirror Philosophizer Gifts

Charles would have left his apartment more often if only it didn't involve bringing along his face...

'Low self esteem.'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

"I noticed a few browns."

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

Business man sees himself as a shark

Warning. Objects in mirror my bear no relation to reality.

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

I disturbed the class by talking in my sleep.

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

'Just tell me. You don't need to drag that out every time I ask how I look.'

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

"Bear with us, will you? -- We're having technical difficulties over here."

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

"I work from home because I can’t stand the sight of idiots." "Is that why you got rid of all our mirrors?"

"My son has a magnetic personality. That's why he's always hanging on the refrigerator door."

Dolly, Twenty Years Later

'I AM going to join a gym, but I've got to get in shape first. . .'

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'