Refrigeration Humorist Gifts

'Maybe I shouldn't put 'instant cooling' on maximum.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Dolphin friendly tuna

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

"This is one of her more important paintings from her early period."

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

Hydration

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

AS about Today's Specials' - 'Whatever didn't sell yesterday.'

"My son has a magnetic personality. That's why he's always hanging on the refrigerator door."

"You're in luck. A slot for you just opened up in our kitchen."

'I'd like to order, please.' - 'Okay, what's your table number?' - 'I don't know.' - 'Find it, weak-minded fool!!' - 'What's our table number?' - 'There is no table number.' - 'There is no table number.' - 'You should have been assigned a table number whe

'The stuff legends are made of'

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

'Too much information! I prefer not knowing my lobster's name was Sigmund.'

"Is it safe to come out yet?"

'Water is a valuable good and we should use it sparingly. That's why I'd like my Scotch straight.'

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

"You'll have to have it neat, sir. We're running out of ice."

"For crying out loud! It’s empty!!"

"Stop serving Table 3 complimentary bread."

'This should shake things up -- I've just found conclusive evidence that global warming is caused by whales!'

'I'll be talking nonsense when you come to take our order. But, if you pretend I'm speaking French there'll be a big tip in it for you.'

'Fish fresh?' 'I don't know I've only been here two weeks .'

"... But, Derek. The travel agent told us not to drink the water!"

"Now we know what happens when we overachieve the climate goals."

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."