Hydration Humorist Gifts

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

"Oh boy, I'm seriously dehydrated, I'm stuck: Get me a drink quick please..."

"For crying out loud! It’s empty!!"

"I really shouldn't. It goes straight to my bladder."

A Matter of Course.

The German Answer to a Hydrating Sports Drink : Non-Alcoholic Beer!

'Is that the water authority? Can I use my hosepipe to pump out the basement?'

Knight with a tap in his armour.

Hydration

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Lactose Intolerant

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

PSA Banter.

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Providing Healthcare For All

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

Dog wearing a cone

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"Gesundheit!"

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

My Dream Valentine

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."