Cryogenic Humorist Gifts

'Mr. Harsbeck, what's all this I hear about you putting your tax returns on ice?'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

First we thought the apes would conquer the world...When in reality we've been busy mining the end of the world all along.

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

Rude Snowpeople

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

How Glaciations Begin

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

The new Physics

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

Evolving/Devolving

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

Table Of The Elephants

Evolution...the wifi rhino.

'He's majoring in cave hydrology with, obviously, the ultimate aim of being a caveman like his Dad.'

Complex equation results in the conclusion that cats are better than dogs.

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.