Cryogenic Humorist Pillows

'Mr. Harsbeck, what's all this I hear about you putting your tax returns on ice?'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

She loves to play with string theory.

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

How Glaciations Begin

Rude Snowpeople

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

First we thought the apes would conquer the world...When in reality we've been busy mining the end of the world all along.

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

The new Physics

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'He's majoring in cave hydrology with, obviously, the ultimate aim of being a caveman like his Dad.'

Evolution...the wifi rhino.

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

Table Of The Elephants

Complex equation results in the conclusion that cats are better than dogs.

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.