Cryogenic Enthusiast Gifts

"Short term Trump presidency cryogenic stays sure have improved business."

'You were married to him for 40 years. He never once mentioned he was having his head cryogenically frozen?'

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!

Snow is falling...

"Business has picked up since we introduced short term cryogenic stays for the football off season."

Alaskan Cryogenic Society.

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

'I tell ya Frank, if we find one of these babies big enough, we could live forever!'

"Blast it, Perkins, not again!"

'I'm looking seriously into cryogenics.'

'The temperature isn't too bad at -15, but when you add on the wind chill factor... '

'...and the temperature is controlled by a thermostat which keeps it at a controlled zero year round.'

"And unlimited freezer space, naturally..."

In the Year 2525

"I hear they can freeze you until they discover a cure."

'Honey, I'm looking fat in white!' 'Trust me, dear. In a few months, the pounds will be melting away.'

"Stick to it. There's a future in cryogenics."

"I see Linda and Gay moved back from down South. I knew that wouldn't last."

Ace Cryogenics (Giant toaster).

'Am I shivering or giggling?'

'Yes, we could use someone with your talents!'

Igloo Building.

"We switched over. It’s cheaper, and polls show sinners are far more miserable in a cold climate."

'We melt you and then, in the future, freeze you, pop in the carrot and voilá!'

'California: Here I come!'

"Welcome back, Mr. Bigley. Some messages came in for you while you were dead."

Explorer receiving a Valentine from a penguin.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize the water balloons had already frozen..."

'Stick to it. There's a future in cryogenics.'

"There go the summer people, thank God."

'That's easy for you to say, you like cold weather.'

"Sure, the Antarctic waters are great feeding grounds, but can we try tropical waters next time?"

Wintertime Barometer.

'I forgot to get show tires.'