Cryogenics Enthusiasts Gifts

'I want to be awakened every year when football season starts.'

"Don't make me pull over this mammoth!"

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!

Snow is falling...

Alaskan Cryogenic Society.

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

"Blast it, Perkins, not again!"

'I tell ya Frank, if we find one of these babies big enough, we could live forever!'

'I'm looking seriously into cryogenics.'

"Do you believe in Bigfoot?"

'You were married to him for 40 years. He never once mentioned he was having his head cryogenically frozen?'

'...and the temperature is controlled by a thermostat which keeps it at a controlled zero year round.'

"And unlimited freezer space, naturally..."

"I hear they can freeze you until they discover a cure."

'The temperature isn't too bad at -15, but when you add on the wind chill factor... '

In the Year 2525

"Stick to it. There's a future in cryogenics."

Snowman arriving home to his Refrigerator Home

"Welcome back, Mr. Bigley. Some messages came in for you while you were dead."

igloo smoking zone...

'We melt you and then, in the future, freeze you, pop in the carrot and voilá!'

'Am I shivering or giggling?'

'Yes, we could use someone with your talents!'

Igloo Building.

Ace Cryogenics (Giant toaster).

"I see Linda and Gay moved back from down South. I knew that wouldn't last."

"We switched over. It’s cheaper, and polls show sinners are far more miserable in a cold climate."

Explorer receiving a Valentine from a penguin.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize the water balloons had already frozen..."

Snow cones serve yourself.

1911 - Roald Amundsen thought he was the first man to reach the southpole.

The Inevitable Let Down After The Capture Of The Lock Ness Monster

"Sure, the Antarctic waters are great feeding grounds, but can we try tropical waters next time?"

"There go the summer people, thank God."