Refinancing A Home Gifts

'It's a handy household device that helps calculate your negative equity'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

The native sweet bay species will make a beautiful grove. They'll give you pleasure and increase your house value! Tree's tree nursery. Hmm

Occupy Budget Balancing

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

I have a dream.

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

The refinancing didn't come through -- I say we just walk away from the project.

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

It doesn't matter if our house is made out of bricks, we've got a sub-prime mortgage!

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

'How about a reverse-reverse mortgage? In a reverse-reverse mortgage, no one pays anyone anything, and no one seems to care.'

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

Man's Mortgage is Covered By Endowment Policy.

"Now I know many of you still have questions about reverse mortgages...."

Do you know what the interest on you adjustable-rate mortgage is?

Bitch-Slapped-By-The-Invisible-Hand-Of-The-Marketplace Sale

'First the good news - you won't have to pay mortgage insurance anymore.'

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

'You have the wrong idea about adjustable-rate mortgages - WE do the adjusting.'

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

Frank and Ernest's updated fables. Straw, wood, brick what does it matter? Our houses are all under water anyway.

'We made the last payment and we were burning the mortgage to celebrate.'

"We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate."

Banker: The Mortgage the Merrier.