Home Refinancing Gifts

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

The native sweet bay species will make a beautiful grove. They'll give you pleasure and increase your house value! Tree's tree nursery. Hmm

Occupy Budget Balancing

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

I have a dream.

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

'Is my allowance a form of income redistribution?'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

'How about a reverse-reverse mortgage? In a reverse-reverse mortgage, no one pays anyone anything, and no one seems to care.'

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

"Now I know many of you still have questions about reverse mortgages...."

Man's Mortgage is Covered By Endowment Policy.

Do you know what the interest on you adjustable-rate mortgage is?

'First the good news - you won't have to pay mortgage insurance anymore.'

Bitch-Slapped-By-The-Invisible-Hand-Of-The-Marketplace Sale

I rhyme today for I feel great cheer. Listen up, people. I am truly moved. The greatest three words a man can hear. You are pre-approved! Hail the bard of the home-loan sonnet.

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

Just another life lesson son. Nothing in life is free.

'But on the bright side, I never worry about the housing booms and bubbles.'

'A bit gritty about the collar, but hey, what the heck, I'll take it!'

Frank and Ernest's updated fables. Straw, wood, brick what does it matter? Our houses are all under water anyway.

"We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate."

'The mortgage I can handle, but I also have an adjustable-rate wife.'

'We made the last payment and we were burning the mortgage to celebrate.'

'You have the wrong idea about adjustable-rate mortgages - WE do the adjusting.'