Refinancing A Home Pillows

'It's a handy household device that helps calculate your negative equity'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

I have a dream.

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

It doesn't matter if our house is made out of bricks, we've got a sub-prime mortgage!

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

'How about a reverse-reverse mortgage? In a reverse-reverse mortgage, no one pays anyone anything, and no one seems to care.'

"Now I know many of you still have questions about reverse mortgages...."

Man's Mortgage is Covered By Endowment Policy.

Do you know what the interest on you adjustable-rate mortgage is?

Bitch-Slapped-By-The-Invisible-Hand-Of-The-Marketplace Sale

'First the good news - you won't have to pay mortgage insurance anymore.'

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

'But on the bright side, I never worry about the housing booms and bubbles.'

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate."

'We made the last payment and we were burning the mortgage to celebrate.'

'The mortgage I can handle, but I also have an adjustable-rate wife.'