Refinancing Mortgage Pillows

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

I have a dream.

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

It doesn't matter if our house is made out of bricks, we've got a sub-prime mortgage!

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

'How about a reverse-reverse mortgage? In a reverse-reverse mortgage, no one pays anyone anything, and no one seems to care.'

Man's Mortgage is Covered By Endowment Policy.

Mortgages up 'Where?'

"Now I know many of you still have questions about reverse mortgages...."

Do you know what the interest on you adjustable-rate mortgage is?

'We're worried about your ability to lend us money.'

'First the good news - you won't have to pay mortgage insurance anymore.'

Bitch-Slapped-By-The-Invisible-Hand-Of-The-Marketplace Sale

Banker: The Mortgage the Merrier.

'But on the bright side, I never worry about the housing booms and bubbles.'

'We made the last payment and we were burning the mortgage to celebrate.'

'You have the wrong idea about adjustable-rate mortgages - WE do the adjusting.'

'Hey, honey! Come look at all these scary mortgage lenders and Wall Street bankers!'

'The mortgage I can handle, but I also have an adjustable-rate wife.'

Just another life lesson son. Nothing in life is free.