Referee Fan Gifts

'It's for you.'

"I'm only going to say this once Fred! I have a sore throat and it hurts to talk. So put that back in your pocket and leave it there for the rest of the game!"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Is it that bad?"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Uptight End"

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

'May I say it's a great pleasure to present my work to such a distinquished assembly of my colleagues.'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Information booth attendant solves equation

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

Why moms make bad refs.

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'...and that is my philosophy.'

Archaeologists discover a football

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

'Let's see if we could put a spin on it and get the public interested.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

"Lucky Guess."

'Now what?!'

'I win!'

"I think I've finally figured out who's on first."

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

Formula One car origami

"All in all, I'd say it's a pretty convincing explication of chaos theory."

'Touchdown!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

'You had me at 'C - R C = (2 x S X).'

The Bagel Wheel Derby.