Referee's Friend Gifts

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Raheem Sterling

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

Why moms make bad refs.

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'This part was tenure.'

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

The commentators want to run the officials...

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

'Now what?!'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'