Referee's Friend Pillows

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Why moms make bad refs.

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

'This part was tenure.'

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

The commentators want to run the officials...

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

'Now what?!'