Refereeing Fan Pillows

"Advantage Mr. Edmonson."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

Why moms make bad refs.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

Election 2020

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'Now what?!'

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

'I win!'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

'I'm sure it's a violation, but I can't find it in the rule book.'