Referee Analyst Gifts

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Cricket Accidents.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

The Other Cooperstown

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'...I don't like your chances!'

Centaur Forward

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'