Referee Analyst Pillows

"..common sense has prevailed, Michael Owen's agent has let the referee off with just a severe warning."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Cricket Accidents.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

The Other Cooperstown

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'...I don't like your chances!'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

Baseball Fantasy League Draft. 27 Trout. Everybody wants that rare player who can do it all on their team. Yeah, a player that hits for average and hits for power! Who is also terrific with a glove and has a strong throwing arm. All along with having great speed! Excuse me, I just don't understand it. Why are you always making such a big deal over a five-tool player?!

'Fergie quits - chewing gum sales hit all time low!'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

Centaur Forward

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'