Referee Critic Pillows

"The refereeing was only half bad... the winning team didn't complain."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

The commentators want to run the officials...

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

'Are referees black with white stripes or white with black stripes?'

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'