Soccer Analyst Pillows

Spain trial for rigged soccer matches

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Cricket Accidents.

The Other Cooperstown

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'...I don't like your chances!'

Centaur Forward

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."