Sporty Analyst Pillows

'My therapist plays with my mind.'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Cricket Accidents.

Perils of the double play.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

The Other Cooperstown

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"I love fast break business success."

'...I don't like your chances!'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'Fergie quits - chewing gum sales hit all time low!'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

Centaur Forward

Baseball Fantasy League Draft. 27 Trout. Everybody wants that rare player who can do it all on their team. Yeah, a player that hits for average and hits for power! Who is also terrific with a glove and has a strong throwing arm. All along with having great speed! Excuse me, I just don't understand it. Why are you always making such a big deal over a five-tool player?!

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.