Sports Analyst Gifts

'Voila! ... Concussion-proof!'

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

"False Start!"

Athletic Darwinism.

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

Coulda, shoulda, woulda... DID!

18 Days Since the Last Embarrassing Off-Field Incident.

'Bugger! My brain's just pulled a hammy.'

'Extrapolation is one thing. Picking the pennant winners is something entirely different.'

England Cricket Team - Short Stay Car Park.

ITV Digital bubble being burst by the Football Association.

How the Forwards See the Backs and How the Backs See the Forwards

"If only he made goals all of the time instead of just at the beginning of the year."

The Groundhog didn't see his shadow...because the superdome lights were out.

'Whoa! Leonard got busted for using Human Growth hormone!'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'Everyone left, and it's only the second inning. We should have asked them who's going to win.'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'I wonder if the anti-doping agency ever looking into the Popeye and Spinach thing.'

Fantasy Football Betting Pool

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

'I'd like you to throw it just a teensy-weensy little more inside.'

"The young Englishman prepares for McGraths next delivery!"

"Now the catcher is saying, 'The other team's lip-reading is worth twice what they're paying him.'"

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

How to put a pitcher under pressure.

'I have no excuse for the horrible way my team performed today. However, my assistant coaches are reviewing the tape, and we should have an excuse worked up by Monday morning.'

'Pick up Carlson on the end, he's got proven performance data.'

Cricket Accidents.

'That's why I like Neederman. He does the little things to help his team that don't show up in the statistics.'

'I know we're leading the league in concussions, but is that concussions we got or concussions we caused?'

'That's a home run!!... Pending the results of a drug test.'

'OK... But can he play defense?'

How to win before the match begins

"Depressed, anxious, unsure about the future...It's very common for people in your position, have you thought about supporting a different team?"