Redecorating Gifts

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"We hired all the designers ourselves."

'What's the difference between Cream Amber Sunset and Pale Golden Butterscotch? Umm...the name?'

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

'Doreen's been all over me to paint the house and Phillip wouldn't stop bugging me for a new trampoline, so...'

'Why do you keep moving the furniture around?'

Non Drip Paint

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"

"...this is the one I like."

Decorators at Home

"It may not be the hardwood floor we were hoping for, but it's SO much better than that hideous carpeting!"

"The Lawsons got new furniture. They're having a 'Help Scratch It Up' party."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Cocktails on the verandah.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Santa Claus's Mail

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Christmas Tree

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Piranhaclaus

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Happy Easter