Renovating Gifts

'Before we bought this house and remodeled, this pool was septic tank.'

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

Your home remodel team: architect, contractor, couples therapist

"I want the whole thing gutted."

"Renovating your bathroom?"

"Would it be possible for you to totally exaggerate how much it will cost and how long it will take, so we'll be pleasantly surprised at the end?"

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"I've had it with this kitchen!"

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

'Wouldn't it have been easier to cut off the top of the tree?'

'I was interested to see that you're living in a complete pigsty. Ours isn't quite finished yet.'

For Sale: Handyman's Delight For The 21st Century.

'Great to see the ol' museum is finally getting a face-lift.' An old building getting a medical face-lift

DIY enthusiasts find a time portal behind their old wallpaper

"I never heard of a kitchen renovation, either, that was not followed by a divorce."

"I'm having an en-suite put in."

"I do a lot of work on my house, but none of it rises to the level of home improvement."

Another over-do-it-yourself project.

Let's get organized

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Painting the Ceiling

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'I found the termites!'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'