House Renovations Gifts

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

Let's get organized

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

Painting the Ceiling

'I found the termites!'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"You're welcome."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Too bright."