Renovating A Home Gifts

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"I'm not totally happy with the painting subcontractor."

"Yes, I did say I wanted a 'green' home. But not in the literal sense."

'I've changed my minds. Maybe we don't need open plan living.'

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

'What makes you think my kitchen was fitted by cowboys?'

"Just buy a new one. It's over 40 years old. That must be about 160 in toilet years."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

Home Improvement Programme - "I'm afraid your teenage son will have to go."

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

'Just measuring you for the breakfast nook.'

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

Painting

"Well, you with your going on about the importance of insulation!"

'Maybe it would have been cheaper to just glue money to the wall.'

'Don't panic,I'm just waiting for the wood.'

Introducing...The Creeping Draft

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

Ladder Painting

"I remodelled, but I left it so that when danger threatens I can still take refuge in the redoubt."

Carpet fitter

Painting and decorating

"Before I can write your insurance policy, this place has to be made more accessible. I almost fell in your moat!"

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

The demand for insulation subsidies has risen

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Venn diagram showing new kitten, new carpet and 'benefit of hindsight' in the middle.

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

Insulating the house would cost to much so we insulated Arthur instead.

Lumber Yard. Luxury Homes! Some Assembly Required.

Non-Drip ?

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'

"I'll never understand wallpaper."