New Home Renovation Gifts

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'This is the first time I've seen a contract written on sandpaper.'

More lies.

"Oops!"

'In retrospect, maybe we should have gone for the smaller fireplace.'

Man painting the ceiling with the help of an umbrella.

These colour charts are ridiculous... coal' black, 'midnight' black, 'licquorice black'.' - 'There's too much choice! All I want is plain old boring bl-' - 'Ooooooh... 'panther' black.' -

"I'd invite you in but we've got new carpets downstairs."

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

Let's get organized

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

Painting the Ceiling

'I found the termites!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

"You're welcome."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'