New Home Project Gifts

"How many times do we have to tell you: first allow the wallpaper to settle, then remove the scaffolding!"

"Weren't they the people you lent the complete macrame book to?"

Artex cartoon

Eggshell blue

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

LAY ZEE FUK

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Lady of the Cake.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Allotment

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Gardener

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"And this is our media room."

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

Rose Garden

Beach Barbecue

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'