New House Project Gifts

Carpenter.

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Empty box of ideas

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

Bright Idea

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated."

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

"The new house is almost ready!"

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

'I think I've finally found a fixer-upper in your price range.'

"Can we get a bigger pool to accommodate all my floats?"

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

Artex cartoon

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

"Can't we just get some load-bearing wallpaper?"