Building A New House Gifts

'Well, they were the low bidders.'

'Today's not a real good day to move in.'

Man's house has sign reading 'Sod the council'. His neighbour says: 'Frankly, I'm amazed you got planning permission.'

An origami crane constructs a house.

'Let's take another look at the plans, shall we?'

The architecture was inspired by watching 'Grand Designs' on TV

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

Oooops.

'Honestly, madam, every home should have one.'

"The new house is almost ready!"

Lumber Yard. Luxury Homes! Some Assembly Required.

'Ingredients: 'pine, ash, walnut, nails, insulation materials of unknown origin and all-natural asphalt shingles.'

'Home wasn't built in a day.'

"What do you mean, I need planning permission for a house made of bricks?"

"They finished the work on our house. We found we had some money left on account of the builders not knowing it."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"First time pruning?"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.