Redecorating A Home Gifts

Paint. I can't decide between Blood of my Enemies and Candy Apple Red.

Let's get organized

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Santa Claus's Mail

Cocktails on the verandah.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Christmas Tree

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Happy Easter

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

Piranhaclaus

"Home depot."

Painting the Ceiling

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Christmas in the Fish Bowl