House Decorating Gifts

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

Santa Claus's Mail

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Cocktails on the verandah.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Christmas Tree

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Second hand furniture.

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Painting the Ceiling

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Piranhaclaus

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Happy Easter

Use your imagination.