Home Decorating Gifts

"Whoa, someone's been doing some gathering."

Man with self-assembly wardrobe and lots of random pieces: 'Funny how there always seems to be a few bits left over.'

'If you run into trouble, give my brother a call. He's an excellent divorce lawyer.'

"I thought we'd decided to go with the maple."

'They had a sale on electric green.'

Ancient Greek interior design. "It's a bit Spartan."

'The furniture store next, I'm going to need a larger wardrobe.'

"They're doing inspections-get the throw pillows in order."

"He's fine, Ma'm."

'Okay, how about THAT shade of mud?'

"Would that be 'white white' or a 'grey white' or 'white with a touch of lemon white'?"

'Decorating on a shoestring'

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

"I need another can of this."

"Too bright."

Wallpapering 4

Sofa Sale.

"You should be happy. How many husbands even notice window treatments?"

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

"It's very me, but I hate myself."

'Okay, how about THAT shade of mud?'

'Welcome home, dear. While you were away I redecorated...'

'Lenny didn't have enough paint to finish the living room walls,so he paintballed them.

'Since we did the make-over I just don't think you fit in any more.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

This is the first time you've put up wallpaper isn't it ?

Ceiling painter with an umbrella.

"It's our best seller. Perfect for sitting idly by."

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

Home Sweet Home.

"He came to help me pick out a pattern that I won't just get tired of after 30 or 40 years."

"I don't think this is how Michelangelo painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel."

"After the kids moved out I turned their space into a guest room."

"I need you to pretend to care about design for twenty minutes."

"The carpet really brings the room together."