Home Decorating Gifts

"Whoa, someone's been doing some gathering."

Man with self-assembly wardrobe and lots of random pieces: 'Funny how there always seems to be a few bits left over.'

'If you run into trouble, give my brother a call. He's an excellent divorce lawyer.'

Ancient Greek interior design. "It's a bit Spartan."

"I thought we'd decided to go with the maple."

'They had a sale on electric green.'

'The furniture store next, I'm going to need a larger wardrobe.'

"I need another can of this."

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

"Too bright."

Wallpapering 4

Sofa Sale.

'Decorating on a shoestring'

"Would that be 'white white' or a 'grey white' or 'white with a touch of lemon white'?"

'Okay, how about THAT shade of mud?'

"He's fine, Ma'm."

"They're doing inspections-get the throw pillows in order."

'Welcome home, dear. While you were away I redecorated...'

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

Home Sweet Home.

"He came to help me pick out a pattern that I won't just get tired of after 30 or 40 years."

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

"After the kids moved out I turned their space into a guest room."

This is the first time you've put up wallpaper isn't it ?

"It's our best seller. Perfect for sitting idly by."

'Okay, how about THAT shade of mud?'

'Lenny didn't have enough paint to finish the living room walls,so he paintballed them.

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

Ceiling painter with an umbrella.

"It's very me, but I hate myself."

"I don't think this is how Michelangelo painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel."

'Since we did the make-over I just don't think you fit in any more.'

"You should be happy. How many husbands even notice window treatments?"

"Gosh, Bob, I just LOVE the dynamic interplay between the new wall color and the accents of pandemic-era psychosis!"

An astronaut attempting to fix falling down wallpaper