Home Decorator Gifts

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men...

"They drown out all the neighbors' chimes."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Man with self-assembly wardrobe and lots of random pieces: 'Funny how there always seems to be a few bits left over.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'We love our new flat-pack house, trouble is, we don't know what to do with the box it came in.'

Silly man ordered a bed that is too big for his room.

'I just can't picture it in our kitchen ..got any sticky notes or magnets and crap we can plaster all over it?'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'You just had to tell them to make themselves at home!'

"I wish you hadn't run that dress up from what was left over"

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

"The bathroom was recently remodeled with more options."

"You call this amazing? He's applying latex over oil!"

'Chill. I'm just mixing some cans of paint in the dryer.'

'I wouldn't read that book, dear...it's only there to impress visitors.'

'Now that the kids have flown away, I want to turn their room into a man cave.'

This is the first time you've put up wallpaper isn't it ?

HIS and everything else HERS.

'...yes, well according to my feng shui book, this is where it should go.'

'We've only seen your house from outside. You'd never guess that it was nice inside.'

4 seasons globe

"How much for the sign?"

The man who bought a sofa that was not in a sale.

'This is a helluva time to tell me you don't like this location.'

"Adam's an estate agent, he's beautifully presented and deceptively specious"

'It wouldn't kill you to help decorate, ya big stupid oaf!!'

"And this is our extended family room."

"I still say we should get a queen-sized mattress—despite the obvious jokes it will invite among the sales staff."

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

Concerned about soaring energy costs, Connie embarks on her biggest craft project ever and knits a wool sweater for their house.

"These are my leather-bound Hammacher Schlemmer catalogues."

'He loves his new fish tank.'

"You should be happy. How many husbands even notice window treatments?"

'You'll never get the Burgundy stain out, so let's just color the whole thing.'