Home Decorator Gifts

"They drown out all the neighbors' chimes."

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men...

Man with self-assembly wardrobe and lots of random pieces: 'Funny how there always seems to be a few bits left over.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'We love our new flat-pack house, trouble is, we don't know what to do with the box it came in.'

Silly man ordered a bed that is too big for his room.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'I just can't picture it in our kitchen ..got any sticky notes or magnets and crap we can plaster all over it?'

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

'You just had to tell them to make themselves at home!'

"The bathroom was recently remodeled with more options."

'Now that the kids have flown away, I want to turn their room into a man cave.'

"I wish you hadn't run that dress up from what was left over"

'I wouldn't read that book, dear...it's only there to impress visitors.'

"You call this amazing? He's applying latex over oil!"

"You should be happy. How many husbands even notice window treatments?"

"These are my leather-bound Hammacher Schlemmer catalogues."

"I still say we should get a queen-sized mattress—despite the obvious jokes it will invite among the sales staff."

"And this is our extended family room."

"I don't know what to do anymore! Our new carpet was really expensive but so was the dog!"

'I need a helping hand.'

HIS and everything else HERS.

'Lenny didn't have enough paint to finish the living room walls,so he paintballed them.

The man who bought a sofa that was not in a sale.

'This is a helluva time to tell me you don't like this location.'

'You'll never get the Burgundy stain out, so let's just color the whole thing.'

'He loves his new fish tank.'

Unfinished Funiture Store.

This is the first time you've put up wallpaper isn't it ?

'...yes, well according to my feng shui book, this is where it should go.'

"Adam's an estate agent, he's beautifully presented and deceptively specious"

'We've only seen your house from outside. You'd never guess that it was nice inside.'

"How much for the sign?"

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'