Home Decoration Gifts

"I want our divorce to have a country farmhouse feeling."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'We need to update our gravel, install a fake treasure chest, and get one of those lifelike scuba divers. Apparently, it's all about curb appeal.'

Flower Arrangement

"I liked it better on top of my husband."

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"We thought it would be nice to invite the subcontractors to the housewarming."

"Would you like me to show you around my apartment and tell you how much I paid for everything?"

Posh Doghouse.

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

Bird sees 'No Vacancy' sign on birdhouse

"I love what you've done to the place."

"As them if I can have the bottle when it's empty - it'll make a really nice table lamp."

"When the movers came, the sock mystery was solved."

'Like it?'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

'The old one fell apart.'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Timmy! Stop jumping on Penny's couch!. . . It's cheap!'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

'I'm looking for a coffee table to match this book.'

"Ya, right. Who needs a Web presence. I'll just compete in the global economy from here."

"As you can see, it comes fully furnished!"

The Local Floorist

'I love what you have done with the place since the divorce.'

'He loves his new fish tank.'

'Yes, they delivered the piano, but I should warn you about something.'

'Man, that freaks me out I've lived here over a year and every time I come home that lamp's in a different place,'

"Your talent's wasted here. You could be painting my kitchen."

Re-home Sweet Home

Snowglobe In Summer

"You didn't. . . And I didn't! So who ordered a ten thousand gallon aquarium?"

The Arcimboldo Arrangement

"Quick, act casual."