Home Decoration Pillows

"I want our divorce to have a country farmhouse feeling."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'We need to update our gravel, install a fake treasure chest, and get one of those lifelike scuba divers. Apparently, it's all about curb appeal.'

Flower Arrangement

"I liked it better on top of my husband."

"Would you like me to show you around my apartment and tell you how much I paid for everything?"

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"We thought it would be nice to invite the subcontractors to the housewarming."

Posh Doghouse.

"I love what you've done to the place."

Bird sees 'No Vacancy' sign on birdhouse

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

"As them if I can have the bottle when it's empty - it'll make a really nice table lamp."

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

"When the movers came, the sock mystery was solved."

"As you can see, it comes fully furnished!"

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

'Like it?'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

Snowglobe In Summer

"Ya, right. Who needs a Web presence. I'll just compete in the global economy from here."

"Your talent's wasted here. You could be painting my kitchen."

The Local Floorist

'I love what you have done with the place since the divorce.'

Re-home Sweet Home

'I'm looking for a coffee table to match this book.'

'Yes, they delivered the piano, but I should warn you about something.'

'He loves his new fish tank.'

'Man, that freaks me out I've lived here over a year and every time I come home that lamp's in a different place,'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'The old one fell apart.'

'Timmy! Stop jumping on Penny's couch!. . . It's cheap!'

Walking stooped 'So that was the spare room.'

'I think you'll like this home, Mr. Sparky. It's got the kind of carpet that is great for butt scooting.'

I woulnd't read that book dear, it's only there to impress visitors.