House Decorating T-Shirts

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

Cocktails on the verandah.

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Santa Claus's Mail

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Christmas Tree

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Second hand furniture.

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Piranhaclaus

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Painting the Ceiling

Happy Easter

Use your imagination.