Home Decor T-Shirts

"You know your dog better than I do."

"They drown out all the neighbors' chimes."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

No soliciting - especially if it's for a good cause.

"Of course, we can do spare and minimalist, but not on your budget."

"Honey, the Malcontents are here."

"Come on in—sorry about the mess, we're just in the middle of not caring anymore."

Another Energy-Saving Idea From Your Electric-Eel Council:

'Something is missing.'

"Actually, I don't read much, they're just background for my video calls."

Trouble Ahead

'The ad said Reduced 50% so I bought it. Let's not argue over semantics.'

"Just because you collect them doesn't make them collectibles."

'Now remember, he spent $400 on that, so no matter what, we can never play with it.'

"Remember when all we had was lots of little pillows?"

'He ate all the magnets off of the refrigerator.'

'I told you nylon carpets were a mistake.'

Fred brings home one too many cute refrigerator magnets.

"I'd like you to meet my pillows."

Please excuse him, he's intent.

A hammer sits in front of his hunting trophies

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'That's the color paint we need.'

'Since the kids left home, Harold and I are thinking of looking for a smaller place.'

Mattress sale

Man paints himself into corner.

'Are you sure energy efficient isn't just a nice way of saying you're not too bright?'

"Great blinds think alike.

"The HOA is bustin' my chops about my paint colors!"

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"I've got sky in my bedroom."

Caveman sees welcome mat saying, 'Wipe Your Knuckles'.

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

Comfort zone