House Decorator T-Shirts

'Don't worry, I won't ruin your walls with a spray painter. I'll do it by hand.'

"C'mon, Lady! We've run out of earth tones!!"

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Home depot."

Use your imagination.

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"You're welcome."

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

"Too bright."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

Unfinished Funiture Store.

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

Sunday P.M. July 15, 1990 in the Watternods' Living Room with the Watternods' Dog and Mr. Wu Lung's Cat from Next Door